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01/27/2003 Entry: "Slacking in our program"
Trinity brought up what I think to be a good topic for discussion hoping to liven the cafe up a bit.
She posted that she had not been to a meeting or been working on the steps for some time (trust me I'm not picking on you Trinity). I find my self slacking off or a little more removed from my Program also.
Being the type of person to over analyze these types of things, this is what I have come up with... you can read it as if I am rationalizing that it is OK for me to not go to meetings all the time. Because that is what I am doing.
I find that most people who attend meetings frequently or daily are people that are alone. If they aren't alone they are having problems in their relationship that drives them to a place where they feel loved and better about them selves.
I have a lot of support at home. My wife will listen to me and try to understand. She also supports me 100% and we have a very loving caring and considerate marriage. (I have AA to thank for that. I would not have made it this far with out Rebos and my Home Group). Therefore I feel a night at home with my wife just talking and enjoying each others company is just as rewarding as a meeting if not more. However she doesn't always understand my thoughts, therefore I need to go to meetings to share my thoughts and get the acceptance that I am not the only one that thinks like 'that'. This is what keeps me sane in my sobriety.
Sometimes I go to meetings not for myself but to see other people and make sure they are doing well. You can look at this as almost a social type gather. Only going for the 'after meeting'. To sit and chat about totally non related recovery topics ... for friends.
And sometimes I go to meetings because I don't want to go too long with out a meeting. I don't know what the time limit is and I also don't really want to know what would happen. When I start feeling a little emptiness inside, a meeting and my friends always fills it up.
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Attending a meeting keeps me centered and focussed on the program. I now cope with hard times by going to lots of meetings. When I don't need to go to a meeting, I go anyway, but not as frequently. I make coffee, breakfast, lunch, or supper on my good days. For me, I can handle anything the good lord drops on me as long as I remembered step one when I woke up that morning. Going to a meeting at least once a week makes that easy to do.
Posted by Colonel Bob @ 12/24/2003 08:11 PM EST
Its been said that going to meetings doesnt keep you sobre. True. Its the programme that keeps me sobre,however, left to my own devices i can tend to slide away from it so regular mtgs remind me of what i should be doing to stay sobre and refocus me when i start to drift from the straight and narrow. Also i cant be there for the new comers if i dont go because i wont meet them. I also need to pass the message that was freely given to me. if im not there i cant. The webs ok but you cant beat the live show. keep it real and best wishes to all.
Posted by jim.c @ 12/07/2003 07:13 PM EST
I just joined this room and would appreciate any help you could give me.
I seem to be circling around....I'll give it a try.
Posted by angelicalady @ 11/25/2003 11:19 PM EST
I find that if I go to meetings regularly life runs smoother. That's not saying everything goes "my way". That's just as true today with 17 years clean and sober as when I first came into the program. The thing is I can think I'm doing just great when I'd be doing so much better if I were going to meetings. Great topic, thanks!
Posted by Nancy @ 03/24/2003 10:24 AM EST
as an "outsider"...not going to meetings in real time...just here, here is how i see it.
the sharing is what makes it for me. it makes me realize i am not alone, others feel exactly the same way and when they share i also gain a lot of insight.
i imagine the results are increased by attending meetings. and it might be hypocritical to give them a thumbs up when i do not go at all, i am doing just that.
a non-addict that reads my site from time to time sent me a note recently telling me she could not relate to my experiences until they found out their spouse was diagnosed as an alcoholic and pain killer addict. they're currently going through a divorce.
i offered her what help i could and realized that it took a lot of sharing on both our parts for me to be able to help at all.
its why i will keep blogging. its good medicine.
Posted by the lost one @ 02/01/2003 12:45 AM EST
I still have a home group. I still make a meeting at least once a month on a average. However, if I had less practice and sobriety under my belt, I'd go to lots more. If I am working with a newcomer locally, I go to lots of meetings.I'm a big believer in going to as many meetings as you can, as often as necessary early in your sobriety.
I check in with my homegroup a few times a week to let them know I'm still around and to be there on the off chance I run into a woman who really wants to get sober.
The important thing to remember is that even though meetings in and of themselves don't keep you sober, they are invaluable in the early years to help us remain focused, grounded and centered on the business of being sober.
Posted by MythicWoman @ 01/29/2003 08:20 PM EST
good topic, Brad.
i'm big on meetings. after 3+ years of clean time, i'm still going to meetings on a regular basis. for me, that means 2-3 meetings a week. meetings are my first line of defense against my disease.
when anything gets the least bit crazy, i find that a chat with my sponsor and a meeting usually points me in the direction i need to go.
there are so many things about livinng life on life's terms that i do not know from experience how to handle. i use the meetings/sponsor to get good suggestions.
like you, Brad, i also go to give back what was given to me.
i hear people speak of working the program as if it is 'unecessry effort', too routine, too elementary, boring, etc. the truth for me is that i do not experience the program that way...i find it a blessing to my life, and a welcome addition to my week. maybe recovery is one of my hobbies?!
anyway, like we say, "I'll keep coming back." i don't want to use today - that is THE gift the recovery has given me.
thanks again, Brad.
Posted by Theo @ 01/28/2003 02:20 PM EST