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12/10/2002 Entry: "another meeting, another lesson!"
last night's meeting was great. one of my sponcees, whom i hadn't seen in a couple of weeks, showed up. he is still clean, and has even started working his first step. we had a nice chat. the topic for the meeting turned out to be "powerlessness in relationships." one addict shared about his struggles dealing with his wife who has relapsed and has done the using addict 'disappearing act.' his pain was real. a lot was shared about powerlessness, obsession, and feelings. most helpful for me was the reminder that this program is about a process. why do i get the idea that my life is not suppose to be uncomfortable? where do i get the idea that pain, suffering, loss, grief, etc. are not suppose to touch my life.
one of our readings says,"our program is a set of principles written so simply that we can follow them in our daily lives." it does not say that these principles are easy. it does not say that my life will be free of all pain. at best, following these guidelines can reduce the amount of self-inflicted chaos and pain. yet, life around me will still happen. the tire will sometimes be flat--in the snow--when i have no jack--no spare--no phone. my friends will sometimes disappoint me. my wifey will be rude. my job will suck....sometimes. and, sometimes all will be well.
so, just for today, i'm grateful to be clean, employed, happily married, and to know that i am loved dearly by my god.
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