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12/06/2002 Entry: "other than not drinking, has your life really changed?"
simple truths comfort me. "not drinking is not enough" was the most recent mantra to keep myself moving in recovery. the next one for me is a direct evolution from the last: "other than not drinking, has your life really changed?"
well, it has a great deal. but saying this helps me look at things more realistically and not bullshit myself.
most recently i have realized another problem i have that i must deal with. i'm not going to go into details, but it's another obstacle i know i can learn to work through. this helps me realize i am making progress.
this shit is just too fucking hard!
do we ever get to take a vacation from chaos? the concept of journey vs. destination is tough medicine to take sometimes. i get restless, i make breakthroughs and i seem to repeat the cycle. maybe it is a rhytmn instead if a bad cycle? arrgh. luckily dealing with my latest obstacle might clear some of this up for me.
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eventhough not drinking is not enough by itself, it is the one thing i must get right. so, as Brad posts above, even though the rest of my life is falling to crap, if i'm clean/sober, then it is a day with hope.
my sponsor says often,"Remember to do what you needto do for your recovery today, and the rest of this stuff will work out." he has been right hus far.
keep coming back! Smile.
Posted by Theo @ 12/11/2002 08:35 AM EST
very true: "not drinking is not enough"
to not use or drink was just a first step for me. I find that when I start thinking too much and start worrying myself to death over shit I have no control over ... I go to a meeting and everything is much better. I have to be reminded that I have no control over these things and to just let my higher power guide me in the right direction.
Posted by brad @ 12/06/2002 09:19 AM EST